Logged September 19, 2001
Logged by Merina
Titled: What’s love got to do with it?
******************************************************************************
Characters: 
Merina 
Kastanje 
Moira
******************************************************************************
SUMMARY: Moira, Kastanje and Merina meet up at Monument Plaza. The
conversation turns to a discussion about Moira’s feelings for Tai. Can
Merina, a woman guided by emotion, be of any assistance to young woman whose
life is dedicated to the Force, to a life where emotion has no role in
making decisions? 
******************************************************************************
*Merina*
There is not much to distinguish this woman who looks to be in her mid
twenties. At somewhere just under 5'4" she may be slightly shorter than the
average, but not so much as it makes a difference. She has a compact build
that lends her an athletic look. Her deep-set brown eyes lend her a solemn
expression, which brightens somewhat when she smiles. Her complexion is a
sallow olive color; she'd do with sitting in the sun for a bit. The chestnut
brown hair that falls a few inches below her shoulders is so curly that
frizzy is a better word for it. She's tamed it by choosing to wear it
fashioned into a myriad of thin, individual plaits, each punctuated at the
end with a few colorful glass beads. Merina is wearing a pair of charcoal
colored pleated trousers. Her shirt is patterned with swirls of gold, forest
green, and deep rich red. She is wearing a long jacket in the same color
gray as her trousers. Her feet are tucked into low-heeled ankle boots that
appear worn, but well looked after.

*Kastanje*
Your glance singles out this young woman, despite her somewhat short
stature. She's on the slighter side of average for a human, no more than
5'4", and doesn't compensate with flashy clothing. Narrow, Sea smoke-blue
eyes are set symmetrically into an aristocratic face of smooth, sandalwood
skin. Despite an appearance that could easily turn haughty, the eyebrows on
this young woman are almost always arched with mirth, her eyes pulling up
into crescents. The faint hints of laugh wrinkles branch from the corners of
her eyes, but they're too shallow to put her in more than her late twenties.
Her slightly frizzy fox-brown hair is pulled back into a long, practical
fishbone braid. A few wisps manage to poke rebelliously out of the neatly
kept style, keeping it from seeming too severe. There is the sickly yellow
of faded bruising around her neck and on the inside of her left elbow. Her
chin has a slight abrasion on it, as if from knocking into something rough.
A vision of etched metal and loose fabrics make up her uniform. A
kidney-shaped golden helmet is accented with silver metal wings and chin
guard. Three red pips are connected to the front center of the helmet,
denoting the Major's rank. Overlapping rings, protecting the neck, meld down
to jointed metal vanes curving over her collarbone and around the upper
back. Her shoulders are capped with curved scales of gold, layered so as not
to hinder movement. The torso is shielded in ribs of silver, extending
downwards over the abdomen and sculpted to allow for the curves of a woman's
body. A loose shirt of silky purple is visible under the armor where it
gathers over the upper arms. Golden gauntlets protect the hands, with linen
wrappings underneath extending up to the elbow. A small metallic square of
etched gold is attached near one elbow, it's twin by the other. Linked
panels of inscribed gold squares hang off a golden belt over the loose
purple pants, protecting the officer's thighs, while smaller etched scales
attach to a long gold cloth in front. Short shoes cover her feet, and silver
accents highlight golden shin and knee guards strapped to the lower legs

*Moira*
This human female is about 5 foot 5 inches in height. She is probably in her
early twenties, though something about her makes her look younger. Perhaps
it's the expression in her blue-green eyes. Not quite innocence, but
something akin to it. Moira has a kind face, heart shaped with a gently
sloping nose. She's pale of complexion, not exactly sickly, but not tan. One
might get the impression that tanning is impossible for her- too much sun
would surely cause her skin to burn. Her hair is ash blonde and board
straight, pulled back in a ponytail to keep it out of her way. Her face
bears an open and friendly look, completely free of any artifice or
insincerity. An Ossus native, the girl's voice bears the slightest accent,
the only remainder of home she carries with her. The only other unchanging
feature of that girl that is Moira, is a ring that she has recently added to
her right ring finger. The non-wedding band hand. It's a pair of wires,
black and white. But they seem to be molded of the same material- only upon
very close observation do they seem separate.
She's clad in a button up shirt, rolled up to the elbows. It's a cream
color, made of something fairly lightweight. Her multi-pocketed brown pants
cover her legs, and it's all held together at the waist by a belt with
several pouches. One can never have enough storage space. Attached to a clip
on the belt is a matte gray cylinder. 

Monument Plaza -- Republic City 

The famous Monument Plaza, one of the gems of Coruscant, is placed atop one
of the original mountains of Coruscant, the peak of Menrai Mountain. The
crater-like park is surrounded by nothing but blue skies, but if one were to
climb to the safely guarded lips of the crater, they could look down over
the growing city beneath them. To many, the thought of touching the Corusca
gem, embedded in the shrine at the top of the mountain, one can find eternal
serenity. This park offers not only the chance to touch the mountain, but
also to see its collection of statues, a large attraction on its own.
Private security officers control access to the TRAM station, and make sure
that everyone leaves the park at closing time.

Merina is crouching down at a fissure in the rock face. She is examining
something, giving it careful scrutiny. After a few moments, she pulls out a
plant with a yellow, four-petaled flower. She stands up, smiles, and secrets
it away in one of the pockets in her jacket. She glances wearily at a man, a
Jedi Knight, who is standing a short ways off, watching her. She really is
getting tired of this. And it is *so* unnecessary. No one is going to harm
her, no one even knows of her connections to the whole ugly deal. Ashton is
over-reacting. She plucks another yellow flower from the fissure.

Standing near the tram station talking with a trio of the private security
officers, Kastanje seems to be using every hand span of her gilt-uniformed
presence to keep the large men in line. Two of the officers look half-ready
to launch into a tirade, their faces flushed. The words: "...Lodge a formal
complaint.." are suddenly audible, but tones quiet again. Every time the
guards' voices start rising, the Major levels a gaze on them that manages to
stir up new smidges of restraint. Maybe there is some purpose to this silly,
flashy outfit...

Moira Brennan, in civvies but toting her new light saber, makes her way off
one of the trams running up and down the mountain. And almost immediately,
she sees someone she knows. "Everything alright, Major?" Moi inquires, using
Kas's rank in front of the Guards. She smiles pleasantly at the people who
seem to be giving Kas a hard time, and waits to see if her help will be
needed. Although it seems Kas is fine on her own.

Merina is hardly aware of the ruckus erupting not far from her. She is too
busy pulling those yellow plants out of the rocks. The odd thing is, she
seems far more interested in the rootstock then in the pretty flowers. As
she works, the beads in her hair clink together merrily. She is also having
quite the conversation with herself. "So I'll just take this back with me,
and see what I can..." she chuckles at her own litany of thought. For just a
moment, she stops, and rocks back on her heels. A soft sigh escapes her
lips.

Kastanje turns her head away from the guards for a few moments to flash a
smile at Moira. "Oh, quite alright, but I appreciate your concern. Just
going over the complaints of these fine gentlemen here," and the
implications of expected politeness are stressed. "From some of the events
that happened two nights ago. I was just promising to pass on their thoughts
and get back to them later, wasn't I?" A burly glares at Moira's
young-looking self for a moment, but his thin, bearded companion quickly
elbows the man in his ribs, and smiles an appeasing smile. "Heh. She was.
Nice lady, see."

Hmm, odd. "Well, if you've got it, Major." Moira doesn't finish the
statement, simply smiles and takes a seat on a nearby rock. Quite nearby-
close enough to obviously continue listening. However, out of the knee
pocket of her pants comes a small rectangular notebook and an implement for
drawing. A sketch begins to form itself on the paper. Now, she can keep tabs
without stepping on Kas's toes. She hopes.

There seem to be no more of the yellow flowers in this area, so Meri starts
to look along the rock face. She's still not paying much attention to what
is around her. Ah! There! That would be a perfect place to find more of the
glabras. She's stymied though. There seems to be a foot in the way. And that
foot is attached to one very familiar padawan. Merina rises. She inclines
her head slightly "Moira" she says in soft greeting.

A few grumblings about 'bounty hunter' and 'blaster regulations' are bandied
about in the midst of many references to 'jurisdiction', but it's not too
much longer before Kastanje's steady gaze and lack of response to the
complaints leaves the guards falling silent. "Well, we'll be writing up
somethin' more formal than this. So... Expect to hear from us again, Major,"
the burly fellow who'd glared at Moira states, and then stalks off to give
the impression that he's ending the discussion instead of the Major. "By the
quadrant's seventeen nebulae, those boys are longwinded... Oh, hello
Merina," she adds suddenly, noting the other woman crouched near the Padawan
as she turns towards Moi and her drawing. Doesn't move though, just stays
standing where she is for now.

Merina smiles at Kastanje, her attention taken off of Moira for the moment.
"Hullo" she says pleasantly enough. "Seems to be a popular place for you and
I, up here. Doesn’t it?" she looks around "the city gets to me though. It is
nice to have someplace to escape it" She wipes dirt from her hands on her
trousers. "What brings you up here this time.

Kastanje gestures back towards the guards retreating to the tram station,
and starts picking her way unusually slowly towards Merina and Moira. "Oh,
they did. Thought I'd best do a follow up. There was a bit of an incident
involving a Trianii kit a couple nights ago. The guards think they got quite
a bad deal out of it all... Although admittedly good-intentions don't
deserve to be rewarded with stun bolts." A bit of a grin quirks the corners
of her mouth. "But yes, it is nice up here... Just escaping again? Or trying
to?" She amends, eyes flicking to the Knight shadowing the woman.

Merina sighs. She casts another withering glance at the man "trying to. I
think I nearly managed it too." She exhales sharply. "If they'd at least be
a little friendly, it would be OK. But I feel like some kind of criminal.
And based on what we know about my brother, that thought is not really so
comforting to me" She puts the plants she has gathered, into the pouch that
hangs over her hip. As she talks, she pulls more pants out of her pockets
and methodically puts them in the pouch. She smiles. "It is nice to see you
though. I have not seen a friendly face in a while" her happiness is
evident.

Moira finally looks up; as it dawns on her that the voices speaking are
familiar ones. "Merina! Kas! Hello there. Sorry, sometimes I go off to my
own little world." The Padawan girl smiles, them looks over to wave at the
Knight. The Knight waves back, and then makes his way further off. He'll
still be around, because Moi's still a Padawan, after all. But perhaps he
might hang back a bit, go about some personal meditation instead of standing
guard. "Do Knights still follow you everywhere?" Moi queries.

Merina answers with a sigh. "I'm a regular little criminal." she tries to
make it sound like a joke, but she cannot quite pull it off.

"Nah, criminals get nice little cells for privacy at least. Poor Merina here
has someone hanging over her shoulder all the time like a nanny droid
watching its charges." Kastanje points out with a grin, her voice still
raised slightly to carry over, as she isn't catching up to the two other
women with much speed. "A lot of fluff, I think. Moira, don't they have
anything better to do?"

"I don't really know. I'm not a Knight yet." Moira replies with a smile.
There's a long silence, and almost when it seems Moi's back in Moira land,
she speaks again. "If Master Ashton thinks there should be escorts, there
probably should. But a Knight should be able to pick you up by presence, and
so there's really no need to hang over your shoulder all the time.
They -could- hang back." Hmm, wonder why they aren't. Moi's face goes
distant again, as she obviously drifts off into thought. Seems girly's off
her game, tonight.

Merina shrugs. "Well, some do and some don’t...hang back that is. I sure
can't tell. Most of the time they don’t even want to give me the time of
day. I've given up even trying." she wrinkles her nose as she watches Moira.
She is suddenly anxious to get the topic of conversation away from herself.
So it is the old Corellian ply of switching the subject. "What are you
thinking about?" she asks kindly. "You seem more lost in thought than I
usually am."

Kastanje eyes the Knight with the same inspecting attitude a superior might
look over a guard with. Not that she really has any command over the Jedi.
Must just be the uniform. "Meditating?" She muses aloud, similarly curious
now. Moira's usually more in the here-and-now in this.

"Hmm?" Moira says, blinking a few times as she realizes she's being spoken
to. "Oh! I'm sorry. I just...well it's not really that important." Oh,
that's treading the line, almost lying, Moira Brennan? "Okay. So maybe it is
kind of important. But..." There's a hesitation, and Moi adds "Tai and I
have been talking lately about a lot of stuff." Stuff. How interesting.

Merina sits down on a rocky ledge. "Sounds like it is important" she says in
a soft voice. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Ah, Tai, should've guessed... The Padawan boy is always getting distracted
thinking about Moira. Kastanje pulls up a bit of rock for herself, light
clanking sounds of metal as she settles to a sit awkwardly. Right foot rests
outwards as she turns to Moira, "We have time to listen," she offers with a
smile.

"Well...I don't...okay." After all, what did Moira tell Tai? That it was no
secret, that if there was a reason to hide things, that they shouldn't be
doing them? "Tai...well, we talked about Jedi really not having
relationships with anyone, much less with each other. The conversations
meandered to Knighthood, and then back to whether or not we should pursue
anything. The final decision was that no, we could indeed hold the Force
supreme and not let our emotion interfere. And that we could still continue
on the route we'd been taking. But Rruka started teasing us about children
and stuff, and right before Tai left for Corellia he thought something weird
at me. First he asked if I had plans for the rest of my life, and I said
'Finish training, become a Jedi. And probably follow you around. Want a
shadow?" And there was more, well, -I- thought it was cheerful banter. But
as he was leaving he said 'I'm off to Corellia. Have fun pretending not to
know I want you to be my wife." Now...does that mean what I think it does?"
And a very confused looking Moira glances to the other two women.

Does she not realize how lucky she is to have found someone she feels so
strongly about? Meri cannot believe her ears. But even more so, she cannot
believe the pain and confusion she hears in Moira's voice. She begins
gently. "It means exactly what you think it means" She reaches a hand and
rests it on the Padawan's leg. "Tell me" she urges, "Why is that you think
Jedi should be immune to the emotions that every living creature has? Even
*I* can tell that the two of you feel something for one another that is
beyond simple friendship" and hear she casts a sidelong glance at Kastanje.
Very little actually escapes the perceptive Corellian, though she often
chooses to ignore what stares her right in the face. "Why do you think that
such an attachment to another being would put a limit on your ability to do
your job as a Jedi? Do you believe it would cloud your judgment? I think it
would crystallize it." she takes a deep breath. "Would it be a challenge?
Yes of course, but I think the rewards are worth that challenge. Is it a
risk? What in life is NOT a risk? Nobody gets a guarantee." and here she
sighs. "Is there a regulation that forbids this? If there is, it is wrong"
She stops, looking at Moira encouragingly. "Listen to your heart, and it
will tell you the truth."

"But the heart isn't what guides a Jedi. It's the Force. Emotions have no
place in making decisions. You know, 'There is no emotion, there is peace."
My heart isn't to be trusted, it can very easily lead me astray, lead me to
the Dark Side." Moira takes a breath, trying to figure out how to say what
else is on her mind. "The Force, however, keeps putting us together in
strange ways. We finished our light sabers within minutes of each other. We
have visions about events in the other's life. I show up to save him when he
needs it, and he does the same for me. So I don't know...I've meditated on
it, and I think it's right for us to be together as long as we can put
emotion aside to act. But it's still confusing. And I can't voice this with
him- until recently he was the one telling me how near to impossible it
would all be. I had to be the one who was certain. But that was before he
asked me to..." And Moi trails off. Before he basically declared his intent
to propose to her.

She does not move her hand from Moira's knee, hoping there is some comfort
in it. No emotion? Some of the Jedis she has met have seemed cold, but none
of them seemed heartless. She cannot function, or even imagine how to exist
in a world without emotion. "The Force is stronger than each of you
individually, and it seems to think that there should be a link between you
two. Have you asked yourself WHY? Why your lives have taken parallel
courses, why you share a link so deep that you know what and when the other
needs something. Is that not emotion?" Merina takes a deep breath. "Is that
not" she pauses, lowering her voice "love?" She looks beseechingly at Moira.
"I understand little of the Force, but I do not see how love could ever lead
to something Dark." she shakes her head. "And you understand little of human
emotion if you think that you can be together and put emotion to one side.
That isn't possible. You complete each other, the two of you, right?" she
smiles. "You could no sooner be apart then you could cut off your own hand"
She clears her throat. "He was the one telling you how impossible it would
be? Was he telling your or trying to convince himself?"

"Of that, I'm not sure." Moira says. "And love can only lead to the Dark
Side if you let it guide your judgments instead of the Force. It's okay to
feel love. That's not the problem. The problem is when you start doing
things because of it. It's like...well, say I thought with my emotions.
Wouldn't I become angry if, say, someone were to threaten him? Or either of
you- I certainly like both you and Kas. But anger, -that- leads to the Dark
Side. That's why you have to be able to think without emotion. So that you
can avoid taking actions driven by undesirable things." Moira stops, to
think through the next thing she intends to say. "I think both of us can put
aside feelings to do what's right, though. He's done it before. But I've not
been tested in that wa..." Suddenly, Moira stops. But she had- she could've
pulled Darth Bane off that shuttle sent him plunging to his death when he
was trying to kill Tai. But she hadn't. Isn't that acting from the Force,
and not the heart?

This perplexes Merina. She takes a few moments to compose her thoughts. "I
can't see a problem with thinking with your emotions, though you must listen
to the Force when making a decision on action. How cruel and heartless it
would be to act without the buffer of emotion. Surely that is where the Dark
side lies" she struggles to be able to explain. "I am not schooled in such
things." she says apologetically "but not all emotion is anger, and even
well placed anger must have a place. Without emotion you also have no
consideration and no compassion. IT is a balancing act, isn't it?" she
arches back her head, and the beads in her braids tinkle. "This is not a
black and white thing, Moira" Meri feels very unprepared for this
discussion. She knows nothing of the Force, and she speaks only from her
heart. "You've not been tested?" she picks up on the hesitation. "Are you
sure about that?" Perhaps, after all, this is a test in an of itself.

"The Dark Side lies in using the Force for personal reasons, instead of
using the Force because it is called for and necessary. Sometimes what the
Force shows us is not what we, as people would choose. But it's the right
way. And we should do what is right, and not what we want. So far, I've seen
nothing to lead me to believe Tai and I should not be together, and we've
both been handling ourselves fairly well. I've been meditating on this a lot
lately- for what I would choose for myself might not be the right choice.
And so far everything has indicated I should continue as I've been. But...if
this is a test, I've got to be very, very careful." Is Merina right? And if
so, what is the correct decision? Well...the Force would not mislead her,
even if her heart might. "Emotion has no place in the Force, because it
influences a person and might make them miss the Force's true guidance. And
we as Jedi should act only from the Force, when at peace and without
interference from anything."

Merina looks at Moira. She is startled Moira picked up on her unconscious
thoughts that this situation itself might be a test. "You would do something
you were morally opposed to if the Force told you that you needed to do it?"
Can't quite get her mind around that one. She tries a different way. "And
when you are at peace, and at one with yourself, what does the Force tell
you then? Continue as you have been? Maybe for now that has to be enough.
Maybe you need to explain to Tai" She shakes her head. "It was mean and
manipulative what he said to you when he left" That's Merina for you; she
will always call a spade a spade. Still, Merina does not see how emotion can
be set aside. They are fooling themselves if they thought that was possible.
She chooses not to pursue it, focusing instead at the more relevant issue.
"Is it enough for now? Or does that leave you feeling empty?"

"I feel like...I feel like I need to give him an answer, of some sort. We've
so much coming up- Master Ashton made it sound like my Trials were just
around the corner. So I just feel like this is bad timing, if nothing else.
I do want to..." Moi trails off. "And I think it might be okay. But after
all the craziness of standing for our Trials, and possibly becoming Knights
passes by. Is that an answer? 'Sure, but let's wait awhile, just until we
and the Council are sure we're solidly planted in the Force?" I mean, that
way we'd know we'd been tested and the Masters believed we were strong
enough to be Knights." Moi then falls silent, thinking. Perhaps her thoughts
were on this all being a test, as well and that's why her mind took the same
leap as Merina's. Who knows? But one thing is certain- their Masters would
have to be told, if the decision was made in the affirmative.

Merina smiles. "I think that your heart has answered for you. Wait until the
trials have passed. Talk to Tai and tell him what you have just said to me,
that with all that is coming up, it is not fair to be pressed to make such a
decision. See what the trials bring you, and then an answer may be clearly
before you" Meri talks off the top of her head. She doesn’t even know what
"trials" Moi is talking about.

Moira nods, pondering it all herself. "I think I will. Of course...after I
talk to Tai, we'll probably have to tell Master Ashton, and Tai's master.
This is big- I don't know if Jedi get married. Or even consider doing so.
Master Phanton expressed his disapproval of us way back, when this was all
starting." Hmm. No, Phanton wouldn't be pleased. Ah, well. Moira also told
Tai that the Force was more important than what others had to say, even the
Council. It all depends on doing what the Force guides you to do.

Merina nods her head in agreement. "Talk to Tai." she puts up a cautionary
finger "but wait to talk to Ashton and Tai's master until you two are sure
yourselves. Unless you feel you will be distracted, no good can come of
elevating it, only bad should they refuse you."

Hmm. Possibly, Moira will have to consider that. "I'll definitely talk to
Tai first. I couldn't do anything without him and his opinion, anyways." Oh,
and now how to talk to Tai, in the first place? He just kind of left. And
was he disappointed in her for not catching on quicker?

Merina nods. "I think you should go find him, and talk to him now" She
rises. "While it is all fresh in your mind. In the morning it might be lost
like the dew on the grass"

"I believe he's still on Corellia." Moira says, standing as well. "So I'll
just have to stay up and wait for him." The Padawan girl smiles- even though
most of what Merina said was not able to be followed as it conflicted with
the Code, it -was- helpful to talk it all out. "Thank you for your help."
Moi says.

END LOG